With a sad heart, I must confess that today has seen a BIG set back in my life as a Christian. I don't want to get into specifics, but I will say that I feel so defeated. I know God loves me, but I don't feel it. I ask, knock, and seek. Yet, I'm not receiving, the door is not being opened, neither am I finding anything. I feel so low. My mother called me a hypocrite. You know what, she is right. Things have just gone from bad to worse. How will I make it through?
I can honestly say right now, that I'm feeling so down. I'm contemplating stepping down from my church duties and taking a break from my church family. I need some alone time with just God & me. I have to fight this thing off.
I ask all that read this to pray for me. I really don't know what to do at this point. Why am I writing this? I want to be able to look back and say "Remember when you thought you were down-you definitely weren't out." I pray that I'm not out although it sure feels like that.
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Update: 6:30 pm- Fasting & consecration-Draw closer to God is needed.
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